OK, here goes. I don't really want to talk about this, but I DO want to move on, and this is part of the healing. Its long, but I'll try to get some of the funny bits in as well. Beautiful marathon morning in Portland! Wore my throw away jacket while lined up waiting to start. Standing by my running buddy Brad in the start line up. Some nerves, but I knew that once we started, it would be fine. The gun went off and the first few miles, Brad and I concentrated on avoiding other people and not going too fast. Its a bit downhill at the beginning, but even so, our first miles were 8:15, 8:21, and 8:47. This last one is a bit fast, since its a long uphill, but neither of us felt winded. The next mile was a WHEEE! downhill (7:41). Then I just settled in to a pace that felt good, focusing on not going too hard and staying steady. These miles took us through downtown Portland and on a 3-4 mile out and back, so we got to see some of the elite runners returning as we were running out. Our coach was somewhere on this section also. It was good to see him. I ate GU and drank at every water station. These six miles were 8:05, 8:17, 8:21, 8:15, 8:30 and 8:17. Somewhere around here we headed out toward Hwy 30, which would eventually take us to the St. Johns Bridge and over to the bluff for the final 8 miles of the race. Very flat in here. Met Cara from my training group and chatted a bit. She looked really strong, but we both tried to slow a bit here, in preparation for the one big hill of the course - the ramp up to the bridge. I also walked through the next several water stations. So, as planned, the next four splits were 8:34, 9:09, 8:51, and 8:21. During the last 10 minutes, I began to get the aura that precedes a migraine headache. I don't get migraines, but do get that visual aura every few years. I just kept running, trying to breathe especially well to help with the visual disturbance. The left half of each visual field was rather dark, but I felt that it would clear. Then I was on the ground, with AJ the EMT talking into my face. His lips were moving but no sound was coming. I think my lips were moving but the words stayed in my head. This part is a bit foggy. As soon as I realized where I was and WHERE I WASN'T! I tried to sit up and bolt, but that didn't work. I was trying to answer the questions that the EMT were asking, but was pretty focused on just getting up and running, so they were definitely not happy with my answers. Finally, I was wavering between trying to run and accepting the fact that I was not going to run. When the ambulance came, I resisted all that I could, but I was unfairly overpowered. Then, once in the ambulance, I cried, got an IV, and got a 3.14 mile split on my Garmin! Fastest split yet. I don't know how long it had been since I passed out, but AJ told me that a spectator heard me say "going down", and he tried to sort of break my fall, so I only have a few bruises and a nasty back of the head ache. Once in the ambulance, I was able to answer all the questions, like birthday, age, all that stuff. About here it dawned on me that I was powerless and in the clutches of my worst nightmare - the medical machine! I really really do not like this institution, and am very mistrustful about medical care. I begged and tried to bribe my way out of going to the hospital, but with an IV in the arm and straps holding me down, I was really powerless. Probably you guys know that I don't like to feel powerless. Then it got worse. Once at the hospital, I began to worry about Karen, my sister in law, who would expect to see me at 18.5, and my coach and teammates, who would not know what had happened. I had no phone, of course, and didn't know anyone's numbers. The hospital staff, led by a Nazi woman doctor, were 100% focused on keeping me down, filling me with unnecessary fluids, and inventing every imaginable test to perform! They wanted blood, urine, Cat scans, MRIs, and chest xrays! All this in spite of the fact that my oxygination and heart rate were excellent. I allowed an MRI to see if I had had a stroke. While the MRI was being prepared, I tried several times to escape, but my speed was hampered by the tubes and electrodes and the stupid gown, so I couldn't get it done fast enough and was captured and actually put under arrest! Yep, armed guards. Two of them, so I must have represented quite a threat. They were really nice guys, though. Oh, I forgot. This is kind of funny. When they helped me take off my shirt and bra so I could wear the regulation hospital gown, the GUs that I hadn't used flew out of my bra. The staff looked quite shocked because they didn't know what it was! So, finally, MRI. These are truly awful, but I let them give me some kind of sedative, and had some nice Led Zeppelin in my headphons. So I was pretty calm. Of course I'm not allowed to walk anywhere for any of this, but have to get wheeled along on a guerney. I am totally convinced that the medical model works by making people feel sick and powerless. It was really starting to affect me. Of course my brain was fine and I didn't have a stroke. Finally, a friend from my group who was not racing but was tracking my progress on her computer was able to locate me at the hospital and help me get in touch with my sister and coach. I was way overhydrated from the IV and kept having to go to the bathroom, but had to be accompanied by the hospital guards each time. I am convinced that the IV was only to keep me from escaping and not for any medical reason. Ms. Nazi wanted to keep me overnight for observation, but finally she was replaced by a much more reasonable Neurologist. He agreed to release me to my sister and saw nothing wrong with me. The whole experience is working its way into a box in my brain called "unexplained experiences". That's where I keep alien abductions, miracles, and anything related to hormones. Sorry, that wasn't as funny as I thought. Here are the positive things: 1. No need to recover. The 15 plus miles of training at a fast marathon pace left me strong! 2. Jogged 7 miles on Monday. Only intended to jog 3.5, but my daughter forgot to pick me up, so I had to jog home as well. Felt like nice recovery miles. 3. I had a great pace and felt great for the first 15! Wow. Tapering works. 4. I'll see Sno and Snoflake on Sunday in Victoria, where I will finally finish my marathon! Thanks for listening. We really are all crazy, but its all good. I'm spending the rest of the week focusing on mental strength and a second taper week, with a nice training run thrown in. Still a bit weepy as I write this, but its a positive step to get it all down and on its way out! | 